You got arrested for not paying your road rage fine - true story

True Story

I woke up this mornin' and you were gone
then I noticed you'd never been home
I called your cell phone to no avail
I called your receptionist, she said you weren't there
Now I'm getting worried cuz it's not like you
to miss a day of work let alone not to phone
So I called your sister, she said that you're in jail

CHORUS:
(4 part male harmony ala Oak Ridge Boys)
You got arrested for not paying your road rage fine.
You got arrested for not paying your road rage fine.
You got arrested for not paying your road rage fine.
You got arrested for not paying your road rage fine.
(Then I come in a warblin')
So Darlin' where's the money coming from this time?
























You called later that mornin' with a traumatic tale
They put you in a cell with 60 men from hell.
The judge shook his head and couldn't believe
those Oro Valley coppers arrested you
for a silly ol' misdemeanor, and no more
You forked out the money that we really don't have
You cursed Oro Valley as you began to leave.
















CHORUS:
(4 part male harmony ala Oak Ridge Boys with me warbling along)

You got arrested for not paying your road rage fine.
You got arrested for not paying your road rage fine.
You got arrested for not paying your road rage fine.
You got arrested for not paying your road rage fine.
(Then I come in a warblin')
So Darlin' where's the money coming from this time?

When God has road rage He conjures up a tornado to wipe out a trailer park

I went to the store for some charcoal. Not just any charcoal. I am over the top brand loyal to Wild Oats charcoal. I bought three bags. Allow me to digress. I pulled into the parking lot and I saw a man get into his minivan in a super close parking space. I stopped, thinking he would pull out so I could park there. Now mind you I’m not a parking freak. I will park wherever there is a space and I'll gladly walk my ass off for the implied, delusional exercise. Yet I felt that at this moment I could wait for this gentleman to get situated and back out. Well apparently getting situated took longer than humanly usual. So I began to drive forward to find an alternate parking space at which time he put on his reverse lights. Being happy with his decision and my patience I chose to back up to accommodate his choice to leave. Hoping again for his prime parking location. Yet as I did so he returned to park and sat again. I honked like any self respecting human that had wasted an inordinate amount time waiting for this guy and his parking space. Then I drove past him in pursuit of suitable alternate parking. Being a parking lot that had been recently re-paved my tires squealed a bit. I chose a new spot with no injuries or problems at all. I walked towards the store with my charcoal aim in mind and was accosted by a very small man.

"Was that you squealing in the parking lot?" he said.

"Yes it was an annoying moment." I replied.

Then he said "that is road rage, my friend."

"excuse me?" I asked.

He said "next time you will get a ticket."

I replied, "there was absolutely no one in danger and it was just a frustrating moment."

He said "your attitude will get you in trouble."

Getting even more annoyed, I said "you’re the one with a bad attitude."

He had a smug look that I wanted to wipe clean off his face. Road Rage? How about some stupid guy sticking his nose into something he clearly has no business doing!!! I was so much more angry because of him, than the ‘shit I’ll park somewhere else incident.’ While I was shopping I had all kinds of scenarios going through my head. I hoped he would say one more thing to me so I could say "Back off Napoleon!!’